PAJAMA DRILL ANYONE? THE COOL DAD
Mommy Wellness shares a few of the ups and downs of modern Fatherhood
It’s almost a total change of identity. In fact, it IS a change of identity because you are no longer who you have always been. Be it just that ordinary guy down the road, the cool dude at the gym, or Johnny Dazzle himself, YOU ARE NOW OR ABOUT TO BECOME A DAD!
Strange how the excitement about the paternity side of things usually dwindles rather quickly after the birth, as though nothing out of the ordinary has happened, and somehow it seems that you are expected to return to normal almost immediately.
ACTUALLY, WHAT’S NORMAL ANYWAY?
The keyword here is ‘normal’. What is normal for the modern Dad and what is expected from him in this ever-changing, developing world of ours?
The whole scenario can be quite contradictory between family and society, especially at the workplace. People seem surprised when a Dad becomes the No. 1 caregiver, and even hand out praise for doing what they should be doing as Fathers, yet Moms thanklessly carry on regardless, with the list of never-ending, exhausting tasks.
Similarly, to the way in which women eventually started expecting and demanding recognition of their presence in the workplace, men need to start doing the same and start negotiating the hurdles which sometimes seem to prevent them from committing to fatherhood and active participation in this new phase of life.
WHO IS SOCIETY TO DICTATE?
Cultural and societal expectations are truly a thing of the past in modern-day living, especially around the fact that it is taken for granted that those mothers are expected to be the primary caregivers.
It is quite interesting that opinions about caregiving, household chores, and other associated parenting responsibilities start in childhood. It is basically expected by society that the female of the human species should undertake these specific roles. At last, it seems that our new generation of Dads are resisting these so-called ‘norms’ but due to ingrained childhood teachings, the transition has been rather slow.
MOMMY WELLNESS PLAYS INSPECTOR CLUESO
Mommy Wellness has also identified what could also be a cause of a Dad’s reluctance to interact in situations when required to do so with his partner, as an expectant couple. Occasionally they feel almost ignored and even unwelcome during prenatal care.
Sometimes, they may even feel this way during birthing classes. This is often due to sensitive emotions being experienced at the time. It is understandable that much focus is placed on the safety of the mother and child. However, engaging fathers are associated with enhanced maternal health and the well-being of the child.
So, in short, men are just as capable as women when it comes to childcare.
No, you cannot breastfeed, and you may not be as eager to jump up in the middle of the night to change a soiled, smelly nappy. But hey, this is your kid and there is nothing more rewarding than watching the progress of this human being and playing an integral role in the development of a brand-new life. Sleep on the side of the bed closest to where the baby sleeps. That way you will be more like to wake up easier and can at least help make your partner comfy at least when the 02:00 feed comes around!
GET DOWN AND DIRTY AS SOON AS YOU CAN
The best way to overcome any uncertainty or awkwardness about being a new dad is to immediately be ‘hands-on’. Spend as much time as you can with baby, and you will be amazed at how quickly you will bond with your new addition and how your confidence will improve. The more time you spend together, the more time you will want to spend together.
YOUR RELATIONSHIP NEEDS ATTENTION
Don’t lose sight of your partner in all the hype and excitement. Keep the things you both enjoy close at heart, as sometimes your respective energies sometimes suddenly and without notice, take on new directions. Remember to hug and connect with her every day after baby falls asleep. This small act of concern and comfort goes a long way!
DON’T FORGET YOU BOTH NEED TIME OUT TOO!
The same way as you take the time to spend with your family, so you need to spend time with your friends and continue pursuing your hobbies. You probably will never again have the same amount of free time, but it is important for the sake of sanity!
Don’t forget that your partner needs the same peace of mind, so offer to take over the baby chores for an hour or two whilst she has a cup of coffee with a friend, or why not simply treat her to our amazing Mommy Wellness ‘Time Out’ spa package? Nothing beats a full body massage to soothe away all the aches and pains, followed by a cup of tea/coffee and a bit of time to read her favourite magazine.
We haven’t forgotten the ‘new’ Dad and offer a range of pampering treatments ‘For Him’ from which to choose.
You both deserve a good spoil at this stage, so give us a call and book your appointments.
IT’S A LIFE-CHANGING EXPERIENCE
Yes you will be tired, yes you will think of your single days without the responsibility of nurturing and raising a little human but believe it, there is no better feeling than being handed that new-born bundle, knowing it’s all yours and building a lifetime of love and fatherhood.
For more information, please visit us at www.mommwellness.co.za